Autumn is fast approaching. The school buses are running again, the crops have that dull cast that signals the end is near, and every night I have a corn test plot to attend.

From the farmer's perspective, the smallest purpose of a corn test plot is to help identify top corn varieties. The primary purpose is social.

Test plot nights are great. They give you a chance to chat with the neighbors, pick up on any gossip, and best of all, with a well-planned strategy, your grocery bill for a family of six can approach zero.

This year's hot gossip topic is the prevalence of sudden death syndrome (SDS) in soybeans. Although SDS has been identified by the scientific community as "late-season fusarium" caused by wet conditions earlier in the growing season, farmer skeptics have clearly identified other key factors which profoundly increase yield loss.

HOW GREAT THOU ART

Little known to professional agronomists is the fact that a farmer's religion can cause the onset of SDS. I live in a community primarily populated by good-natured Catholic and Lutheran farmers. It's martyrdom at its best. In light-hearted discussion, each side seeks bragging rights about who is the most devastated by SDS.

Both denominations have developed a rational for being plagued. Catholics tend to believe that they got SDS because they didn't follow the rules, while Lutherans tend to believe that they got SDS simply because they didn't have enough rules to follow. However, the absolute worst two fields I've observed belong to a Dutch Reformed agronomy wonk and Evangelical Bible church perfectionist. And between the two of them, they have more rules to follow than Catholics and the Lutherans combined, and they rarely, if ever, break any rules. Go figure!

FARMERS OF COLOR

Equipment color that is. Another factor clearly defined during test plot chit-chat is that farmers with funny color equipment get much more SDS than farmers with the "right" color equipment. For example, green farmers know that red farmers get more SDS, and vice versa.

A casual observation that I have made in recent years is that more farms than ever seem to have a mono-colored fleet. You can attribute this to multi-unit deals and the fact that equipment is ever more married to satellite technology (making it harder to mix or switch brands). You just don't see farm fashion faux pas like red tractors pulling green planters or other rainbow coalition units quite like you used to.

But if you do run a fleet of many colors, purists will most certainly deem you a "mongrel" and will crown you the area King of SDS for violating the unwritten color code of agriculture.

THE SEED SELECTION QUAGMIRE

Yet another factor overlooked by agronomy professionals is that seed brand and variety are perhaps the largest part of the equation, but it's not as simple as just avoiding the susceptible cultivars. In fact, this is the most complex thing to understand, and you absolutely must attend test plots and visit with your neighbors to decode the matrix of choices.

For instance, if a Methodist farmer plants a brand X variety with a green planter, he will invariably contract severe SDS. However, if a Presbyterian farmer plants the same brand X variety with a blue planter, then he still has a good chance of blowing Kip Culler's world record 117-bushel-per-acre yield right out of the water.

Again, you can't get this stuff out of the seed catalog, you have to attend the test plots and engage in the discussion to glean this information. Neighbors who can express opinion as absolute fact on these matters quickly assume the tribal position of "witch doctor" or "shaman" if they can produce fields of clean, SDS-free beans.

DRILLING OR TILLING?

The no-till guys stand on one side of the tent and point over to the tillage farmers and say things like, "Did you see how quick that chiseled plowed field died?" I'll bet you don't need three guesses to figure out what the tillage guys are saying!

GIVE IT TIME

The final underappreciated factor about SDS regards the length of time an individual farmer has operated a property.

I picked up a new farm in a hot, hot area this spring. The list of farmers who wanted this piece of land wouldn't fit on a ream of paper. The SDS isn't that bad, but I think the wannabes are ready to put little yellow ribbon magnets on the tailgates of their pickups in concern over my field.

On the other hand, the absolute worst affected fields in the area are right on main stage at our home farm. Taking no chances, my god-fearing, 80-year-old father planted it himself with a brand new, green tractor-green planter combo using big name elite seed.

Now the home farm's been in the family for almost a century, but nonetheless, the bean leaves fell off a week ago. When dad attends a test plot event, a line forms to offer him sympathy and condolences like it was a funeral home visitation. Even longer than the line to load up the barbecued pork loin, cheesy potatoes and brownies!

Editor's note: Real Midwest farmer Adam Erwin writes under a pseudonym. He farms more than 10,000 acres of corn, soybeans and wheat in several states and is a former international banker.

(MZT/CZ/AG)

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